Things to Ponder

• Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money inbinoculars to look at things on the ground?
• Why is it that you can't read a Bible in school, but you can in prison?
• Can you cry under water?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?
• Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
• Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
• What disease did cured ham actually have?
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
• Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
• Why do we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
• ?Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
• If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to taste good."
• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
• When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped buy the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?
• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
• Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
• If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
• If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME equipment, why didn't he just buy dinner?
• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?