If you are in the computer industry, and the Dilbert cartoons on your desk calendar show a recap of what you experienced personally yesterday, check out thinkgeek.com to make yourself feel better. They have a fun range of t-shirts. Here were some that made me :-):
- No, I will not fix your computer
- There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary and those who don't
- Obey gravity. It's the law!
- SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0 (or) SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue=TRUENo rows returned
- There's no place like 127.0.0.1
- Practice Safe Hex & Avoid Computer Viruses Today
- How many people can read hex is only you and dead people can read hex? 57006
- WYSIWYG Babydoll
- Insufficient Memory
- resistance is futile if <>
- Generic Humanoid Carbon Unit
- You are dumb v 1.0
- Will work for bandwidth
- Skillset Exportable. Insufficient ROI. Office of Employee Termination and Overseas Outsourcing
- PEBKAC = Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair
- ID-ten-T error
- There's no place like ::1
- I don't work here
- $>man woman$>Segmentation fault (core dumped)
- Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script
- Scan my network and die
- I read your email
- Bow before me, for I am root
- kung foo
- Chicks dig Unix
- Perl gerl
- I wrote code so you don't have to - O'Reilly
- 200 OK403 Forbidden
- Got root?
- I TCP/IP, but mostly IP
- Procrastination - Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness pays off right now
- I brake for LAN parties
- Achievement - You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To When You Have Vision, Determination, And An Endless Supply Of Cheap Labor.
- Potential - Not Everyone Gets To Be An Astronaut When They Grow Up.
- Teamwork - A Few Harmless Flakes Working Together Can Unleash An Avalanche Of Destruction.
- Ambition - The Journey Of A Thousand Miles Sometimes Ends Very, Very Badly.
- Meetings - None Of Us Is As Dumb As All Of Us.
- Motivation - If A Pretty Poster And A Cute Saying Are All It Takes To Motivate You, You Probably Have A Very Easy Job. The Kind Robots Will Be Doing Soon.
- Idiocy - Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups.
- Apathy - If We Don't Take Care of the Customer, Maybe They'll Stop Bugging Us.
- Consulting - If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Made In Prolonging The Problem.
- Indifference - It Takes 43 muscles to Frown and 17 to Smile, But It Doesn't Take Any To Just Sit There With A Dumb Look On Your Face.
- Mediocrity - It Takes a Lot Less Time and Most People Won't Notice the Difference Until It's Too Late.
- Cluelessness - There Are No Stupid Questions, But There Are A Lot Of Inquisitive Idiots.
- Despair - It's Always Darkest just Before it goes Pitch Black.
- Mistakes - It Could Be that the Purpose of Your Life Is Only to Serve as a Warning to Others.
- Incompetence - When You Earnestly Believe You Can Compensate For A Lack Of Skill By Doubling Your Efforts, There's No End To What You Can't Do.
- Elitism - It's Lonely At The Top. But It's Comforting To Look Down Upon Everyone At The Bottom.
- Use the Best: Linux for servers; MacIntosh for graphics; Palm for mobility; Windows for Solitaire
- A bad day using Linux is better than a good day using Windows
- Have you applied your Windows security patches today?
- The box said "Requires Windows 98 or greater", so I installed Linux
- Department of Clue Enforcement
- C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
- You know you're an engineer if you have no life & can prove it mathematically.
- When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you
- We have enough youth. How about a fountain of SMART?
- Time flies when you are sick and psychotic
- The universe is a figment of its own imagination.
- The ozone layer or cheese in a spray can. Dont make me choose.
- The beatings will continue until morale improves.
- Quiet - Alpha Geek at work.
- Press any key... no, no, no, not that one!
- Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive (the darn thing blew up)
- NEVER, NEVER question the GEEKS judgement
- Make it idiot-proof, and someone will make a better idiot.
- I PROCESS, therefore I AM
- If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet its hard to pronounce.
- I can't be fired, slaves are sold.
- ERROR: Keyboard not attached. Press F-1 to continue.
- Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
- Department of Redundancy Department.
- Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
- Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bullcrap before.
- Dain bramaged.
- Chaos! Panic! Disaster! (My work here is done)
- Blessed are the Geeks, for they shall internet the earth.
- Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive.
- 90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
- I see dumb people
- Roses are #FF0000/Violets are #0000FF/All my Base/Are Belong to You
- Keep out of Direct Sunlight
- 2+2=5 (for extremely large values of 2)
- I see fragged people
- Code Poet
- All your base are belong to us
- I see dead pixels
- I hack my Mac
Now marriage, the God-appointed foundation of our society, is being attacked. We can't let homosexual marriage become commonplace. It's time for Christians to take stand. God says it's wrong, so it's wrong. It's as simple as that.
Now, just so I am perfectly clear, I am in no way, shape or form encouraging discrimination against homosexuals. God's Word says hate the sin, love the sinner.
I encourage you to contact your government. Every person can make a difference. Let's not just sit back and let this issue slip by us.
Resources to check out:
Ask a politician where they stand on education. "I'm a big supporter of education" is the response you are most likely to hear. You may even hear "I would send more money to schools."
What we need is a lot more than money. Instead, take a look a the programs our schools are forced into these days. Prime example - No Child Left Behind.
Have you heard about this program? Bush himself called it "the cornerstone of my administration." Sure, the concept is fabulous. Every child will receive an excellent and complete education. How? Schools are rewarded based on yearly improvement of their students.
There are several problems with the philosophy behind this program. All children are not the same. All children do not have the same learning capability. All parents aren't equally supportive of their children.
Furthermore, the math doesn't add up. How can students improve every year for eternity? Logically, for this to happen the students at a particular grade level must get smarter every year. Are childrens that start school in 2004 smarter than children who started school in 1994? Do they have more capabilities of learning? What happens when the school gets to the top of the bell curve?
Also, a consequence of this program is that instead of a focus on learning material for a grade level, the focus is on material to take the end-of-year test. Teachers are teaching only what is likely to be on the test. What about everything else?
Lastly, there are children slipping through the cracks regardless of the program. Say you have Child A who is extremely bright. Child B is in the same class and is, well, not so bright. For the program to work, the teacher must teach at the level of Child B, so he doesn't get left behind. Child A? Well, my friends, he is left behind. Left behind to no longer be challenged in class. Yes, disadvantaged children have the focus like never before, but what about everyone else?
Let's take it a step further. Say Child C is also in the class. Child C likes to cut up and could care less about learning. His parents don't pay attention to all the negative feedback sent home by the teacher. In order to make the class a success, the teacher has to pass him. What's the justice in that? How does Child C learn the consequence of his actions? What motivates him to be a better student?
Education is a lot more than taking a test every year and making sure that every child passes. In my book, this program fails.
More than just the fact that they are indeed a monopoly that will run any decent technology in the ground and then charge you for it, I have a fundamental problem with Microsoft.
You know when you were in school and had to take a math test without a calculator to do your work for you? (Of course, some of you may have never seen that day.) You actually had to learn how to do something for yourself. How to think. What a novel idea.
Well, Microsoft decided to program a computer, you shouldn't have to think for yourself. It would create an environment where you just start typing or drag and drop pictures, and your code would write itself. The problem with this is that you end up with a bunch of computer programmers that don't understand the most essential component of computer programming - logic. I see them all the time, every day.
Yes, I know that you can program only in Microsoft's languages and still be technical. But you must admit, that group is slim. And getting slimmer. I don't think I want the person who wrote the software that handles my money or even my hospital to not have a good concept of logic, do you?
We must all band together to face the enemy. It's everywhere you look, and soon to visit a search engine near you.
So, John or Jane, here's a few pointers just for you:
- Think speed. Go here and have your site analyzed. It's fabulous.
- Think relevance. Your page needs an organized theme. Everything on the page should be relevant to that theme. If it's not, split it into multiple pages
- Check for broken images. These are terribly distracting.
- Check for broken links periodically. It is frustrating to a surfer to click on a link from your site that doesn't go anywhere or gives them an error.
- Limit the number of images on your page, especially those that move. Yes, I know you love all the beautiful pictures. Try spacing them out on multiple pages or making them just a link if you have a picture gallery. People are much more impressed by the speed of your site than by the images.
- Avoid the hateful images that follow your mouse. Just ignore that script. You wouldn't believe how slow that makes your page.
- Use a color palette. This will get you started.
- Limit your use of scripting. We all know that you can do some great things with scripts. Just don't do it unless it is pertinent to your page.
- Check your layout. Draw it out on a page before you code it. Make good uses of tables to organize all the items on your page.
- Check your page with different browsers. Just because it worked with Internet Explorer does not mean it will work with Netscape and vice-versa.
There are lots of usability sites out there. Jakob Nielson has a site with tons of information. Another great one is IBM's.
· When you tip back your glass to enjoy a nice iced drink and the ice slams into your face
· When you restart your car not realizing the engine is already running
· When you spray perfume in your face
· When you bite your own tongue
· When you turn on the garbage disposal not realizing there’s a spoon down there
· When a door is clearly marked PUSH and you pull
- Do 99-cent stores ever have sales?
- People get confused between “high ceilings” and “vaulted ceilings”. There’s a big difference.
- What are you keeping in your refrigerator that you need baking soda to absorb the odor in there?
- Why would you ever want to eat something called a “jawbreaker”?
- How do lazy people work up the motivation to procrastinate?
- In England they say lorrie for truck and lift for elevator. But we all use the same word for chair.
- When going to a restaurant, “party of one” is rarely a cause for celebration
- Biding one’s time could take forever
- If you can “power-walk”, can you “power-sit”?
- When a spider goes on vacation, does it hire a web sitter to collect flies so it looks like someone’s home?
- Are all ladybugs female? If not, are the males jealous?
I was raised in church. I do not remember a time where I did not know about Jesus or have an exposure to learning about the Bible. I firmly believe I had accepted Jesus into my heart. However, like many teenagers, I struggled with the understanding and application of spiritual concepts. How could God be a 3 in 1? Why is the world such a dark place? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why did Jesus have to die?
In college, I found myself involved in Campus Crusade for Christ. The Lord used that organization as a medium for me to get back on the spiritual path He had laid out for me. With a re-dedication of my life (and my heart), I found the hope and security that I needed in my life. I have a purpose, and I can find peace in that.
How can you find the purpose and the peace that God intended for you?
Well, first there are four basic truths for you to understand.
- God Loves You and He has a wonderful Plan for your life!
This truth is life changing, but simple. You are loved.
- "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16
- Jesus said "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." John 10:10b
- We all sin. This sin causes a separation from God, who is perfect and Holy.
This truth of separation is a little harder for many to process. How can man be inherently bad? Don't most all of us have good intentions? Yes, we may. However, we cannot be perfect and this starts from birth. Try thinking of it this way: You do not have to teach a child to disobey. You may love your child more than life itself and show him or her nothing but that love from birth. However, a child exercises free will and has a natural tendency for selfishness. God is Holy. Perfect. We can never be as perfect as God, no matter how hard we try or how good our intentions are.
- "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;" Romans 3:23
- Jesus Christ is God's only provision for man's sin. Through Him you can know and experience God's Love and Plan for your life.
Our separation required a perfect sacrifice to bridge the gap between man and God. God sent Jesus to earth to be that sacrifice. Jesus was perfect. He was tempted, but He never sinned.
- "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
- "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6
- We must individually receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; then we can know and experience God's Love and Plan for our lives.
It seems like it should be more complicated, but it is not. All we have to do to be saved is to Ask, Believe and Confess.
- "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Romans 10:13
- That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Romans 10:9
- Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him," Revelation 3:20a
"Lord, I need You. I thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and welcome you in as my Savior and my Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life in Your kingdom. Please take control of the throne of my life. Mold me into the kind of person that You desire for me to be. Amen."
Does this prayer express the desires of your heart? If so please pray it now so that Christ will fill the void in your life, as He promised to. If you have more questions please contact me. I will be glad to help you in any way that I can.
One final thought. Too often we struggle to fix things ourselves. Our struggle is ultimately in vain. God does not promise things will be easy, but He promises that He will be with us throughout our journey. All you need to do is to make the choice to let Him.
I'm Amy, web developer/web designer/graphics designer/project manager/amateur photographer living in the eastern United States. By nature, I am a collector. I collect music, books, home ideas and miscellaneous tidbits of information that I will never need to know for my job or general advancement in life.
You will find an eclectic range of stuff here that peaks my interest for some reason or another.
I met my husband, Jonathan, at ASU while we were both majoring in Computer Science. We married in May of 2000 - two weeks after graduation. We have two adorable Shih Tzu dogs, Molly & Max. In January 2008, we completed the building of our dream home in Jonathan's small, quaint hometown of Carthage, NC. Later that year we adopted a fun-loving outside dog named Cedar.
On January 30, 2009, after a 7 1/2 year struggle with infertility, I gave birth to our beautiful daughter, Grace, at 31 weeks. She is now a brilliant, beautiful, highly dramatic toddler and the absolute joy of my life.