1 Day

Dear Grace,

I awoke this morning in a state of disbelief. You are here!

I wanted desperately to come see you. I am so groggy. I cannot shake off the medication that I am on enough to get out of bed.

Hours pass and I am still in a semi-vegetative state. "I want to wake up!" I tell your Dad, your Grandparents and everyone that enters the room. Still, I am so out of it.

Your doctor, Dr. L, came to visit me and update me on you. You are in the "incubator". You are breathing on your own since right after your birth, so you do not require oxygen. You are a little yellow, so they have put you under the light. I cannot wait to see you.

My nurse today is Vicky. She is just the kind of nurse that I need today. She gives me explicit instructions and I try my best to follow directions. Somehow, we got me out of bed and into the shower. Being clean feels so good.

Your Dad walked me very slowly and painfully to the NICU. I had forgotten how beautiful you are. You are so tiny. All the wires and monitors on you are painfully intimidating. I can see how strong you are, though.

You have peach fuzz all over your head. I cannot believe how much hair you have! Since your Dad & I were both bald babies, I am so surprised by that. Your fingers and toes are long. Actually, your whole body is long compared to your gestational age. If you had been full term, you would have been a large baby.

A small part of me is very sad that we had to take you early. It would have been so much easier for you if we could have waited. Now you will spend the first part of your life in the hospital. But, I would not trade these moments with you for anything.

The nurse put you in my arms. No one else is allowed to hold you yet. You are so tiny and fragile, but you are so strong.

I love you very much, my little angel. I love you more with each moment.

Love Forever,

Mama